A rhyme for the season 2012

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Our annual fun with the holiday spirit.

By Steve Doyle

With apologies to Clement Moore, we adapt our rhyme for the season and wish you a very Merry Christmas.


‘Twas the night before Christmas,

And up and down the street,

Joy and happiness ruled,

Not a frown did anyone greet.


The residents were nestled

All snug in their beds,

Only post-holiday bills

Put dread in their heads.


And me with my laptop

And the Mrs. with her iPad

Were checking the late news,

But we didn’t want anything sad.


When across our scanner,

There came a mighty screech,

Was it a train wreck, a bomb?

For all personnel, it did beseech!


“Go to Main Street,” it called,

“Gallop quickly, don’t canter

“Something big is happening

“At the new judicial center.”


We heard calls to the sheriff,

The police chief, the mayor,

The county judge wasn’t missed,

They wanted every big player.


They all arrived on Main,

They looked around with awe,

Someone pointed to the sky,

This is what they saw:


A fat man dressed in red,

He seemed to be driving a sleigh.

Could this be St. Nick?

Were mind games at play?


We recalled the old poem,

We thought of each rhyme.

Was this a whole new version

Brought to our day and time?


We were awestruck at once,

We watched every move.

What about the reindeer,

Would we soon hear their hooves?


There were no dry leaves afly,

No hurricane winds howled,

No obstacles to be met,

Just a sleigh flying like a fowl.


So up on the rooftop,

he landed his ship,

with only his voice,

Never touching a whip.


He yelled out the name

Of each and every flyer,

His words echoed off the church

And rang from the old bell tower.


We were looking all around,

Awaiting a new amazing sight,

But instead of a dismounting man,

We next saw cables alight


What could be happening?

Were toys headed our way?

Did Santa have a new gig?

Was new technology at play?


He was a master of his art,

This stout little fellow,

He moved around fast,

Brought out elves he had hidden under a pillow


They connected those cables

Inside Santa’s magic bag,

And they then slithered down them

They showed talent and swag!


To the west side of the building

They scurried to work,

Then Santa called from above

“When you’re ready, give a cable a jerk”


The next thing we saw

Belonged in Star Wars or Star Trek;

This clearly was no spaceship,

But we didn’t know what the heck.


A big gleaming metal box

All silver, shiny and bright,

Was rising from that bag,

Connected to the cables real tight.


The elves steered it quickly,

The bag must have had a pulley.

They maneuvered that box

With purpose but so coolly.


What was this, we wondered.

We simply couldn’t see

Where it would go

What in the world it would be.


Santa seemed to relax.

You could not impugn it.

The elves slid that big box

Right over the building’s big AC unit.


Why did this happen?

Why the Christmas delivery?

If Santa would answer,

It would end our mystery


“Your air handler unit,”

He called from on high,

“It was deemed too ugly

For any person to eye”


“I received a letter,

Written clearly and tight,

A judge asked that I bring something,

To please block this awful sight.


“So this is what we rigged

Up in the North Pole shop;

We don’t want this odd gift

To be our first Christmas flop!”


And then laying a finger

Aside of his nose,

And giving a nod to the elves,

They all quickly arose.


They dashed to the sleigh,

To his team he did shout,

“The ugly AC is out of sight,

Time for us to be about”


And we heard him exclaim

As he flew away that night,

“Merry Christmas to All.

Your judicial center no more is blight”


Merry Christmas