With apologies to Clement Moore:
Twas midnight on Christmas, and all through the land.
The party was roaring, there was plenty of bourbon on hand.
The children were restless, Christmas dancing in their heads.
There was so much noise, they barely could stay in their beds.
And I in my best Eddie Bauer and Mom in her new rabbit wrap
Were just sitting in our corner, asking our server for a nightcap.
When outside by the parking lot, we heard a big ol’ noise.