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Some folks in my family could form their own Food Network

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By Steve Doyle

  One of the most popular channels on television is the Food Channel.

You can tune in and watch experts produce perfect dishes with immaculate presentation in less than 30 minutes. In an hour you can get a seven-course meal.

These are, of course, creations of pure genius using the bark of the elm tree, the juice of the maple and a wild herb that only grows in Lithuania, which the cook picked up at Kroger on a Senior Citizen Day discount. I mean, there’s nothing to this stuff.


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